Big Hearted Families Book Club: Amos & Boris

Amos and Boris - March 2013 - Small

Transform  family night into a creative, fun, book-centered kindness practice! The book for March 2013 isAmos & Boris by William Steig.

This epic story of friendship is simply spellbinding. It has its roots in Aesop’s classic fable of the lion and the mouse, though in Steig’s rendition the backdrop is a harrowing ocean adventure.

Your family will discover how a tiny mouse can, in fact, come to the rescue of the whale he loves. How, you might ask? A little community organizing can solve almost any problem!  Make change yourself with our little animal advocacy project.

Plus, you’ll LOVE the wonderful recipe provided by our friends at The Kids Cook Monday and created by Cate of Tribecca Yummy Mummy.

If you are a subscriber, you've already received your beautiful book, the following materials, plus a shopping list, book suggestions for older readers, and a fun BHF book mark right in the mail.

Thank you for supporting our nonprofit work! If you would like to subscribe, download our order form here: BHF Order Form.

If you already own the book or would rather use your library, we invite you to download these materials for your own big-hearted family night! When you’re done, join us back here and share stories of your family night. Or join the discussion on our Facebook page!

amos and boris - steig

The Book Discussion:

Conversation Starters for Amos & Boris by William Steig

Sesame Spinach Dumplings

The Recipe: 

Sesame Spinach Dumplings Recipe provided by our friends at

The Kids Cook Monday 

and created by Cate of Tribecca Yummy Mummy.

animal advocacy

The Kindness Activity: 

Amos & Boris Animal Advocacy Project.

Learn about your favorite endangered animal and advocate for them!

Top 5 Big-Hearted Books about Death

This tender subject is too often avoided in my house. Or maybe it comes up too often. As with everything else, there are times when we focus and talk about this a lot, and times when it nearly disappears from our thoughts. Obviously, death is a natural part of life. It is a painful part of life, and love, and empathy. When the children have questions about this heavy subject, I do my very best to answer them earnestly, honestly, and bravely.

Our calico kitty suddenly passed away last week, only a year after we adopted her, bringing the topic of death and dying back to the forefront of our minds. Here are a few beautiful books to help your family begin a conversation about death, and life too.

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The Next Place

The Next Place by Warren Hanson  

(Waldenhouse Press, 1997) 

This simple non-denominational poem beautiful expresses the release, relief, and freedom death might bring. My children have returned to this book many times over the years. It certainly is more abstract and artful than instructional, but it has brought us peace many times.

water bugs and dragon flies

Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children by Doris Stickney (Pilgrim Press, 2012).

Stickney adapted a graceful fable about a water bug that changed into a dragonfly in order to explain death to a five-year-old. This book is more traditionally religious than The Next Place.My family was most interested in the metaphor of the dragonfly larva, who live below the surface of the water, and the adult dragonflies, to illustrate the notion of someone going beyond our sight, to a marvelous place.

the fall of freddie the leaf

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: a story of Life for all Ages by Leo Buscaglia (Slack Incorporated, 1982).

This classic story  is perfect, both simple and comforting. A little leaf named Freddie and his companion leaves change with the passing seasons, finally falling to the ground with winter's snow. As an avid gardener, I use nature often to teach kids about the circle of life and death. This book makes that analogy come alive.

lifetimes

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Childrenby Bryon Mellonie (Bantam, 1983).

"All around us, everywhere, beginnings and endings are going on all the time. With living in between." This is a book to fall in love with, a book to read even when death is not a major topic around the house.

tenth good thing about barney

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst (Atheneum Books for Young Readers, 1987).

This book is on the secular end of the spectrum. The writing is beautiful, the story is simple, and my children found it extremely comforting. They've been preparing their lists of good things about their own cat for our own kitty memorial service.

Please share your recommendations. I realize the topic of death is deeply entwined with personal spiritual beliefs, so feel free to share whatever speaks to you and your family. There are likely many others just like you who will be grateful for an additional resource.

3 Service Projects to Welcome Spring

Perhaps we can make spring happen through sheer force of will. Up here in Minnesota, the world is white as far as we can see. Little Miss 5 shook her head at it this morning, declaring "I will not be going outside again unless it's spring or fall or summer. I'm done with snow now."

Are you also longing for the joys of spring? Or are you shaking your head at us northerners, wondering why we live way up here?

Either way, here are three sweet and simple projects that will have you thinking spring and sharing kindness as a family, even if your weather isn't cooperating.

1. Seeds for Change: Collect seeds to send to families who want to start their own gardens, thus providing a supply of fresh, nutritious produce. There's no better time to help people prepare to garden.
2. Plant a Row for the Hungry: Designate the bounty from one row of your garden to donate to a local food shelf. Buy your seeds now, along with peat pots (or make pots from objects in your recycle bin),  and start your seeds inside.
3. Birdseed Cookies: Making a batch of bird treats is a fun way to care for your local bird population. Is it me, or have the birds been singing louder, longer, and more hopefully lately. Spring is in the air, and this is a great way to welcome it into full swing!

Top 5 Big-Hearted Books about Fear and Worry

Children who understand emotions are more likely to act kindly toward others. They're also better able to express themselves, helping others understand their own needs. Fear and worry are particularly tricky emotions. We all, young and old, have a tendency to mask fear with anger or worry with aggression. Understanding these difficult feelings and learning to cope with them is a lifelong undertaking.

Begin today with these five wonderful picture books.

Parents, you can prepare yourself for a variety of big conversations with the book Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Children Cope when Things Don't Go Their Way  by Elizabeth Crary. Though the title focuses on disappointment, this book is full of practical tips to help a worrying child put that fear and uncertainty to rest.

Also, for older children looking for a great chapter book on this issue, check out the series The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place by Maryrose Wood. These creative stories are full of mystery and endless lessons in courage and bravery.

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner (Magination Pr, 2005) Ages 6 and up.

This is really a 'coping with worry' handbook, overflowing with examples and activities to get kids thinking about how to handle their worrying. I found this useful for my oldest daughter, who is especially prone to worry.

The Scariest Thing of All  by Debi Gliori (Walker Childrens, 2012) Ages 3 and up.

This book is wonderful for very young readers. Pip the rabbit is afraid of lots of things—until he gets lost in the woods, right in front of the Scariest Thing of All! But when Pip confronts his fears, he finds courage in the most unlikely of places: inside himself.

The Monster Who Ate Darkness by Joyce Dunbar (Candlewick, 2008) Ages 3 and up.

A monster that eats darkness stew?  This is a fun, rather silly book with an endlessly big-hearted conclusion. You can start a big-hearted conversation about that "empty feeling" the monster was so concerned about, and explore many other big ideas about fear, darkness, friendship, and hope after reading this wonderful story.

Fritz and the Beautiful Horses by Jan Brett. Boston (Houghton Mifflin, 1981) Ages 4 and up.

Jan Brett beautifully illustrates the story of Fritz, a pony excluded from the group of beautiful horses within the walled city. Fritz becomes a hero when he rescues the children of the city. The adventures of Fritz provide many opportunities to talk about the loneliness of exclusion, and the value of personal fortitude over superficial beauty.

Grandmother Stories: Wise Women Tales from Many Cultures by Burleigh Muten ("The Old Woman Who Was Not Afraid") (Barefoot books, 2006).  Ages 4 and up.

This treasury is wonderful. I've mentioned it in detail before (click here for the post). This collection of stories has been a favorite in our house for years. The story "The Old Woman Who Was Not Afraid" has captured Little Miss 5's imagination. Whenever she talks about something frightening, she parrots the woman in this story. "But I am not afraid," she declares, squaring her shoulders and jutting out her chin. In the story, the woman teaches us that brains and patience are all the tools we need to solve any problem and overcome any frightening situation.

Do What You Can

Theodore-Roosevelt-quotes

This weekend, my family spent a time together as philanthropists. We identified spending priorities. We figured out what we could afford to give. Ultimately, we cast votes to allocate our spending. I must say, we should send our big-hearted kids, yours and mine, to Washington sooner rather than later. They may sort a few things out! Seriously, we did enjoy our morning as family philanthropists.  Donating time is more of  challenge these days than donating a bit of treasure. After spending time  on The Global Rich List, our responsibility to make charitable contributions became even more apparent.

Visit The Global Rich List with your family.

First ask your children what they think "rich" looks like.

My own daughters tossed out maids, butlers, limousines, and gold dollar signs worn on chains. I have to admit to sharing their stereotypes. Though I feel incredibly fortunate, the word rich does not come into my thoughts often.

Then, simply enter your currency and approximate annual income into the site and scroll down for some incredible, animated information.

The results are really educational, and they helped set the perfect tone for our family's conversation about charitable donations.

Become your own family foundation

Become Your One Small Family Foundation.

This is the second year we've taken charitable contributions so seriously. We spent time talking with the kids about what types of problems we want our donations to help solve. We didn't get into the details of which specific organization we would chose - my partner and I wanted dibs on that job. We did let them choose where a portion of the money would be spent.

Next week, we plan to spend time brainstorming ways we can do good together  on each of  the issues we contributed to: local hunger, homelessness, environmental protection, and international human rights. I'll let you know how that conversation goes.

How have you brought up the idea of charitable donations with your children?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Let me share a toast from my family to yours. Thank you for all of your support, interest, and good works with Big-Hearted Families and Doing Good Together.  You inspire us every day!

We are thankful for being.

We are thankful for being here.

We are thankful for being here together

Season of Giving Thanks

Jessica Young (2)

Ideas for Thanking the Volunteers in Your Life

Today's guest blogger is Jessica Young, the Community Manager for VolunteerSpot.com.  VolunteerSpot’s free online coordination tool helps families, schools and community groups organize quickly and easily to make a difference.

The Thanksgiving table beckons the age-old tradition of going around person by person, no matter how young or how old, and sharing those people and things for which we are thankful. Though brief, this time connects the family to the underlying spirit of the season – to be thankful, in all respects, and to turn that appreciation into action where possible.

Our families’ lives, and especially those of our children, are filled with individuals and groups whose selfless time, talents and resources make for a life worth living.  Inspire your family to embrace this season of THANKS by showing their love and gratitude for the “volunteers” in their life.

• Clubs – While extra-curriculars can often-times seem like a whirlwind of pick-ups, drop-offs and carpools, it is the leaders, teachers and instructors who make it worthwhile, whether it’s for drama, chess club, band, mathletes, science club, you name it! Commit your family to service by pitching in to help with a holiday event, tournament, or even set up, clean up, or snack time for the weekly gathering.
• Team Sports – As fall sports wind down and winter sports kick into gear, think about all the time your kid’s coach spent teaching and encouraging your child with soccer, swimming, baseball or dance. Offer to help organize an end-of-season celebration for the team, think treats to trophies, and provide special recognition for the coach who made all the difference!  Tip: VolunteerSpot’s free online signup sheets make it easy for team parents to coordinate quickly snack schedules, end of season parties, and more.
• Scouts —If your kids are in Girl or Boy Scouts, ask the leader what you can do to help in December with service or holiday themed meetings. Can you shop for supplies, help with a service project, bring snacks or rally parents for a troop potluck?
• Worship Leaders—From Sunday school teachers to youth group leaders, pastors, and committee chairs, find a way to say thank you this year to the important people in your world of worship. Explore fun technology and record a short video of congregation members or youth saying thank you, or make a slide show with pictures and text to email out with the monthly newsletter.
• Nonprofit Volunteers—Which organizations and causes are important to you and your family?  Call and ask how you can help – often nonprofits need extra hands during the holiday season. If donating your physical presence directly is not possible, consider baking a treat, writing thank you notes or gathering small gift cards as tokens of gratitude for the volunteer leaders at the causes you care about.
• Community Volunteers—Think about all the festivals, carnivals, parades, and various holiday occasions where hosts of volunteers sweep in to create memorable events for your whole community!  It might be impractical to thank them all, but you could write a thank you letter to your Chamber of Commerce, or write an open letter with your family to the editor of your city newspaper thanking all the people that help make your community special.

5 Big-Hearted Books about Hunger & Poverty in the USA

As America faces record poverty rates and increasing income disparities, it becomes more and more important that we take action in whatever ways we can. Big-Hearted Families has an impressive and diverse list of project ideas to Fight Poverty with your family. Nothing inspires action quite as much as a good story, which is why we've assembled this short list of our favorite books on the subect.

These 5 picture books about hunger and poverty will help you bring up this difficult subject in a thoughtful way. Plus, they are each excellent stories.

Here are some conversation starters to make the most of your experience:

• How would you feel if you had to rely on a stranger to provide your lunch every day?
• How does it feel when you are hungry and you have to wait to eat?
• What are ways we could help those who are hungry?
• What do you think would be the hardest part of not having a home?
• If you did not have a place to live, what things would be most important to you? Where would you sleep? How would you stay clean?
• What things are you grateful for? Are these things you need to live or things that are simply nice to have?

Older readers (8 to 12) may enjoy Along Came a Dog by Meindert DeJong, illustrated by Maurice Sendak, about the unlikely friendship between a little red hen and a homeless dog.

Here are some of my favorite picture books that will start a big-hearted conversation about hunger and poverty:

Uncle Willie and the Soup Kitchen by DyAnn DiSalvo-Ryan (Morrow.

A young boy who is afraid of homeless people gains a new perspective when he helps his uncle work at the soup kitchen.

Dear Mr. Rosenwald, by Carole Boston Weatherford (Scholastic).

This book is based on actual events in the 1920s, when a philanthropist - the founder of Sears - offered money to African American communities to build schools—but only after they raised money themselves. For an impoverished community, this was a difficult task. This story of how they achieved it is very inspiring.

The Lady in the Boxby Ann McGovern (Turtle Books).

It is wintertime in the city and freezing cold, but not everyone is inside and warm. Ben and his sister Lizzie know that there is a lady who lives outside in a box over a warm air vent. The children worry about the kind-looking lady, and begin sneaking food and clothes out of their apartment for her. Gently told and powerfully illustrated in rich hues, The Lady in the Box deals candidly with the issue of homelessness.

Fly Away Home by Eve Bunting (Clarion Books).

This heart-wrenching yet hopeful book follows a boy and his father through their daily routines as they shelter in an airport, obviously before airline security become so strict. This is book especially fostered a lot of conversation in my house. It perfectly presents the heartbreak of being a homeless child in a non-threatening, non-frightening way.

One Potato, Two Potato by Cynthia DeFelice (Farrar).

For a more whimsical approach to the issues of hunger and sharing, this folktale while entertain and edify any audience. It's a variation on the theme of a magic pot, featuring a community pulling together. It's a new favorite.

Practicing Gratitude

We've been practicing gratitude as a family for a long time now. Years. Though our commitment seems to wax and wane along with everything else in life. A few weeks ago, Little Miss and I gathered leaves from each tree and shrub in our yard, plus her favorite strawberry plant. We flattened and dried them. Then we covered them in contact paper and threaded them along some garden twine. The idea originated at this link on The Chocolate Muffin Tree.

They make a lovely decoration in our dining room. Plus they are a great conversation starter during dinner, when I grab a sharpie and ask everyone to share a gratitude. One by one our leaves were filling up.

Somehow the Halloween hullabaloo knocked us out of this habit. I've ignored the leaves and conversations about gratitude for more than a week.  Oops.

Then last night when we sat down to eat, Miss Second Grader jumped up without a word, grabbed a marker, and, in her very best group leader voice, asked, "Okay, what is everyone thankful for? We have a lot of leaves left!"

She was so effective at prompting us all, we covered all the remaining leaves that night! We're going to have to scavenge a few more leaves to make it through the month! It's always a joy to watch one of my projects become a routine she treasures.

How has your family's gratitude practice been going? Share your project ideas or discussion suggestions!

Hurricane Sandy Update from our Friends at Points of Light

"How can we help?"

It's a question my family has been asking one another over the past week. It's a question Big-Hearted Families has been getting from members and pilot families and parents brand new to our resources.

I'm re-posting the following information from our friends over at Points of Light. Their links take you to specific volunteer or material donation needs, which is excellent.

Those of us that live far from the affected region can do the most good with that least glamorous of service activities: fundraising. If your children are interested in helping, check out the following projects, complete with discussion questions, book suggestions, and detailed steps to get started.

• Host a Fundraiser
• Get Fit for a Cause
• Create a Giving Box

Get you friends and neighbors involved. Make it meaningful.

And let us know how it goes!

 Points of Light is working closely with our HandsOn Network affiliates and partner agencies to identify volunteer opportunities in the communities impacted by Hurricane Sandy to ensure a coordinated response. Please note that due to the number of people interested in volunteering, as soon as an opportunity is identified, it is filled. We are working with national and local partners to identify more opportunities in the midst of our current challenges, including transportation issues, lack of fuel in the area, identifying volunteer housing and massive power outages. These challenges make it difficult to get teams out to assess the need and scope projects. While we are working diligently, please understand it may be a few days before we increase the number of projects in the impacted area.

In the meantime, there are additional ways you can engage now:

• Register your interest to volunteer. By registering with our affiliates, you will receive up-to-date information, including when new volunteer opportunities are posted
• Donate in-kind supplies and materials
• Donate to local relief efforts
• Host a local fundraiser and donate the proceeds

We request that you do NOT self- deploy to the impacted region at this time. Given the above stated challenges if you do deploy you should have an opportunity and housing identified prior to arriving. As volunteer housing becomes available we will update our website with that information.

5 Stories to Inspire Gratitude

Gratitude book list

Gratitude... 'tis the season, right? I do think it's helpful to have a holiday devoted to giving thanks, even though I aspire to a year-round practice of gratitude.Expressing gratitude, even out of obligation, helps me clearly see the abundance of love, of comforts, and of freedoms that surround me. Research shows that people who regularly express gratitude are happier and healthier than their counterparts, regardless of measurable wealth.

To that end, here are a few books to inspire a gratitude conversation with our children. They also happen to be wonderful stories. Don't forget to scroll down for a few additional recommendations for older readers, plus discussion questions to get you started.

Please share your recommendations in the comments! 

quiltmakers gift

The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brumbeau (Pfeifer-Hamilton).

A very talented seamstress makes beautiful quilts for the poor and the homeless When the king who has everything decides he must have one of her creations, she tells him he must give away everything; then she will give him a quilt. In the process of shedding his many possessions, the king finds true happiness. No summary can do justice to the mesmerizing, fairy-tale quality of this beautiful tale.

the table where rich people sit

The Table Where Rich People Sit by Bryd Baylor ( Aladdin Picture Books).

As her family attempts to calculate the value of the desert hills, the colors of blooming cactus, and the calls of eagles and great horned owls, a young girl discovers that her impoverished family is rich in things that matter in life, especially being outdoors and experiencing nature.

too much noise

Too Much Noise by Ann McGovern (Sandpiper Books).

Gratitude versus "I want more" is simply a matter of perspective. This exceptionally simple story makes that clear. When the old man searching for silence is told to bring home a variety of barnyard animals, even the youngest child can see the folly in his quest

Greedy triangle

The Greedy Triangle by Marilyn Burns (Scholastic Bookshelf).

Follow the greedy triangle to learn how wanting more and more  and more can change your life in ways you might never expect. And reinforce those basic geometry skills along the way.

money tree

The Money Tree by  Sarah Stewart (Live Oak Media).

Miss McGillicuddy's simple country routine continues through-out the year in spite of a very unusual tree growing in her yard.

As you read, I invite you to use our discussion questions to help your children consider a sense of gratitude, its importance, and why it can be so evasive:

• Why is it so easy to forget the many things we are grateful for when we discover something new that we desperately want?
• How can we remind ourselves to be satisfied with the good things already in our lives?
• What if we woke up tomorrow and only had the things we expressed gratitude for today?
• What is the difference between what you need and what you want?
• Is it wrong to want something more when you have so much?
• What would you do with a money tree if one appeared on your doorstep?

If you have a little extra time, try one of our related activities. Consider creating a Gratitude Garland or take time to write thank yous to people who have inspired your gratitude.

where the mountain meets the moon

Independent readers, their parents, and even young ones willing to sit still for chapter books, will fall in love with Where the Mountain Meets the Moon  by Grace Lin.

Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF... Goes Bust

I have to fess up. My intention to Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF with the kids this year was a failure. Actually that implies I tried it without success. In fact, the lovely UNICEF boxes remain in the folder near my kitchen radio under a pile of other half-finished kid crafts.

Why does this sort of thing happen?

I thought this sounded like a wonderful project. I signed up. I fully intended, even as of noon yesterday, to follow through. I talked to the kids about how we'd do it....

Then I didn't give it another thought. Between feeding and dressing three little monsters up in their costumes, then doing my best to keep up with them as they wandered the neighborhood, I didn't have 30 seconds of thought to give to anything else.

Bummer.

Maybe this just isn't the project for us. I always get a little queasy when preparing to ask others for money, even when the cause is admirable. The kids are pretty reluctant fundraisers too.

In contrast, everyone in my house is all excited about our new match in the Family-to-Family book program, so I'll use that enthusiasm to ensure success in that project!

Did anyone else have better luck or find an easier way to turn Halloween chaos into a force for good?

5 Big-Hearted Treasuries

Why treasuries, you might be asking. I find collected stories or poems to be incredibly handy. I keep one in the car for road trips or the unexpected traffic jam, relying on my second grader to entertain the crew. I toss one in the diaper bag, regaling my weary little people in waiting rooms all over the city. When we're traveling, it is so nice to pack one book without sentencing myself to retelling the same story every night.

Clearly, I rely on them. It's a desperate attempt to keep the kids from noticing the DVD player in our new(ish) vehicle.

Brace yourself for this bit of news: I'm not even going to include Buddha at Bedtime. I've posted and linked to it enough times now you're sure to have stumbled upon it. It remains a favorite in our home, but I've decided to make room on this top five list for some collections you may not have run into just yet.

These stories are all so different from one another, a common set of discussion questions doesn't seem feasible. Certainly feel free to use the comments section here to  share the reflections you've shared with your children.

Children's Book of Virtues by William J. Bennett.

Clearly, this is a classic. You may have read it as a child. Former secretary of education William Bennett shares stories, fables, and poem conveying virtues we all hope to share, including courage, compassion, and loyalty among many others. Some of the stories are very familiar (Aesop's fables) others are quirky and new, at least to me. One or two I may have excluded, but on the whole, this is a wonderful book to read and discuss together.

I can make a difference: a treasury to inspire our childrenby Margaret Wright Edelman.

This collection is exceptional. I posted about it long ago, and it is still one of my go-to books. Again, I love the combination of stories, poetry, and art.

The works in this treasury do not simply teach and inspire. They are literary jewels, beautiful in and of themselves, and I am always delighted to sit down with my children to savor words so perfectly crafted.

James Herriot's Treasury of Inspirational Stories for Children by, obviously, James Herriot.

The author of All Creatures Great and Small brings us eight heart-warming, occasionally heart-breaking tales. My little animal lovers went nuts for these stories, and though we had to return it to the library all-to-soon, it just might show up under the Christmas tree.

While morals and virtues are not so heavily emphasized in this collection,  the stories easily lend themselves to big-hearted discussions.

Kids Random Acts of Kindness by Conari Press.

This collection is sure to inspire your family's next kindness activity. Nothing motivates kids - or adults - like a good example, which is exactly what these stories provide. While they may not be classic children's literature, they will certainly spark the spirit of giving.

Tales of Wisdom and Wonder (with CD) by Hugh Lupton.

The musical CD included with this collection makes it ideal for road trips or traffic jams.

And I promise, it will captivate your audience. This book features seven stories from a variety of cultures. They are expertly crafted, perfect for reading aloud repeatedly to young children. And, as the title declares, there is a bit of wisdom in each tale to get a conversation started.

Trick-or-Treat with UNICEF!

Our UNICEF boxes arrived this week! Has your family done this project? Do you plan to? We attempted it a few years ago, without much enthusiasm from the kids. But they are older and wiser now, so we're giving it another chance.

Check out the complete Big-Hearted Families guide to making this activity meaningful for your whole family.

Also, in case you missed it, don't forget to check out our 5 Big-Hearted Halloween book recommendations.