Create a Family Mission Statement This Resolution Season
By: Courtney Juvland, early childhood family educator
Beginning a new year is often a time for reflection on the past and aspirations for the coming months. There are countless examples in the media and in the people around us making New Year’s resolutions… but the notion never really struck the right chord with me.
Many resolutions promote personal gain–more success in career, health/fitness, finance, and sometimes self-care. It finally dawned on me that new year’s resolutions didn’t appeal to me because they often focus on the “I” instead of the “we,” and as a family educator I am always more interested in family and community systems and how we can strive to strengthen the bonds that connect us in our society.
Instead of a typical resolution, I shifted that “New Year/New You” energy into creating a family mission statement several years back and have found that it connects for many of the families I see in my classes.
Research shows that families who co-create mission statements and continually revisit their shared values feel more connection to one another and a sense of responsibility to others. “If your Family Mission Statement becomes a continuing point of reference, it will create a shared sense of purpose and identity” (Lickona, Psychology Today). It also aligns with the values of families who are Doing Good Together!
Does this sound like something you and your family would like to try? Here are some tips to encourage you in writing a mission statement that reflects your family’s values and centers your efforts to identify and continually practice your family’s mission.
1. Create it together.
This may seem self-explanatory, but even the most well-meaning parents sometimes dictate more than we co-create. Research supports the necessity of communal creation/input to promote feelings of inclusion and empowerment.
The Search Institute, which has done a lot of research and education over the years about raising caring, competent, and connected young people, has great resources for goal-setting as a co-creating process. It can start with a simple, overarching phrase/mantra and get more detailed from there.
As an example, my own family mantra started with a joking command to “feel lucky” when things got sticky. For whatever reason, that phrase really resonated for me and my kids.
2. Make it WISE.
You’ve likely heard of SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound). That’s a great way to center the conversation around things you can do together as a family. I also like my own made-up acronym WISE as a method to have conversations about goals.
Wonder: Begin with thinking, wondering aloud, and listening with open hearts. Wondering should be very open-ended and non-judgemental! Wondering about what we can do to be useful in our communities (family or larger circles) also gives an opportunity to practice perspective-taking.
Inquire: Ask questions of others that will get to the core of what is needed/desired. One example of a foundational question from Psychology Today: “What kind of family do we want to be? How should each of us behave and treat others?” Being curious about others is what helps us connect.
Set: Together, start/set the goals you decide together to focus on at this time. Write them down with your overarching statement in a place all can see.
Evolve: If needs change, this mission can always change! Life evolves continuously, and that should also apply to the family mission.
3. Put it into practice.
Now comes the fun and challenging part of creating a family mission statement: using it in day-to-day life!
It should be something visible–maybe it’s on the refrigerator or wall, but also it will be something evident in how your family moves about in the world. It becomes a big part of sharing values with children and creating a sense of family identity.
Family Mission Statement Example
In my own family, it starts with that reminder to “Feel Lucky” and challenges us each to use that gratitude to carry ourselves with kindness and purpose to help others–in profession, friendship, and advocacy. If you share those values of connection and community, there are plentiful ideas here on Doing Good Together of ways to get involved and make change.
Us: it’s who our family is, together as a unit… not perfect, by any means, but with intentionality and a healthy dose of flexibility, our whole is greater than the sum of our parts, and a family mission helps us to remember that.
Creating a mission statement with your family? Turn it into an artistic keepsake with this project.
Works cited:
Barna Group research on family values
Search Institute on setting family goals
Hughes, James & Massenzio, Susan & Whitaker, Keith. (2017). Family Mission Statements. 10.1002/9781119453239.ch18.
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/fpm/issues/1999/0400/p60.html
Courtney Juvland has an MEd in parent and family education from the University of MN and teaches in an early childhood family education program in the Twin Cities. In addition to her work, her three human children are her life’s joy.
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