We might apply the idea of a “messy middle” to much of life–switching careers, engaging in social change, even parenting/family life itself. Most of our lives happen in this space, when you stop to think about it–we haven’t yet “arrived” at the metaphorical place of organization and tranquility, but are constantly evolving our processes to be responsive to needs. How might we help our children understand the messy middle–its necessity, its tension, its gift–in a developmentally-appropriate way?
As parents and caregivers, you likely know all too well the daily stressors you face. The surgeon general’s report outlines the specific challenges we face at each stage of a child’s development, from sleepless nights with newborns to navigating the troubled teen years. The stress doesn’t just affect us as parents, it spreads to impact the whole family unit. And when we worry that our stress is affecting our kids, the cycle feels never-ending. The surgeon general’s report calls attention to this vicious cycle and offers actionable ways to break it.
In today's fast-paced information cycle, issues are often presented as black or white, right or wrong. When parents actively listen and support diverse perspectives on various topics, from child care to nutrition, they model for children how to understand and appreciate differences, encouraging a more nuanced and empathetic view of the world.
Mental health experts recommend helping young people build an understanding over time of what they can and can’t control. Bringing the focus to “how we treat other people; what activities we do the next day; what goals we have; who we spend time with; how hard we try to do the best we can” is something we can start in middle childhood to build a strong frame of reference in adolescence.
Buckling up for a metaphorical bumpy ride from time to time as you enter a new job, experience a change in leadership, or encounter a developmental growth spurt is something that begins at birth and follows us until life’s conclusion. The winds of change blow strong. With children, we sometimes don’t see the changes themselves right away; instead, we see the impact of the changes in personal barometers of behavior and mood. How can we as supportive humans respond effectively to the need for change and see the purpose behind the disequilibrium?
At DGT we know that books give us the gift of perspective, a sense that we are not alone on this journey to raise empowered, engaged kids. The books we’ve gathered here offer
inspiration to try something new when the status quo isn’t working,
encouragement and hope at the end of a hard day, and
practical, doable ideas to help you raise kind, community-minded kids.
This post is for you, the big-hearted parent who has set the earnest but seemingly sprawling intention to live more compassionately in the coming year. Doing Good Together’s Big-Hearted Families Program was created specifically to help parents seeking the tools, inspiration, and expertise to practice compassion and engagement as a regular part of your busy lives. Here we’ve gathered our favorite resources to get you started.
We’ll make it easy for you to get started! Doing Good Together has distilled six of our best projects for beginners into a new printable. Parents tell us they love how straightforward it is to start with these doable (and fun) activities. The projects below lay the groundwork for you to make a difference in a million different ways as your family grows accustomed to making time to do good.
Just like the rest of our body, our mental health occasionally struggles with a bout of the grumps or bit of the blues. These emotionally low moments - featuring worry, self-doubt, fear, frustration, anger, and sadness - are a developmentally normal response to the rough patches of childhood and the stresses of the big changes our children experience throughout their growing up years. It’s our job to help our children learn to understand, cope with, and overcome their emotional upheaval. DGT is offering a few creative strategies to help you start a stockpile for your next run-in with the emotional sniffles.
There is a certain amount of “Who am I?” and “Why are we here?” work that needs to happen during our early years. At Doing Good Together, we have found that a great deal of the inner work happens when kids have the opportunity to ask big questions with adults in their lives. Our latest post gives you the scientific benefits of philosophical inquiry and offers practical tools to get you started.
In his rendition of Stone Soup, Jon J Muth offers a lovely example of the way individual generosity can lead to a more compassionate community. Building on this inspiration, Doing Good Together offers several practical suggestions to help your family enrich your community in simple, everyday ways.
Giving your family routine a few big-hearted upgrades can make it easier to raise thoughtful, kind kids willing to reach out to that new student sitting alone at lunch or brave enough to stand with the student getting taunted by a bully. Ultimately these kind routines will help children become adults who strive to make a difference in the world.
As the crisis at the border floods the news, your children may have questions. You may feel helpless to respond. Our latest blog post can help you navigate this heartbreaking issue with your kids. As our blogger concludes, “Doing Good Together has always relied on two essential truths. In every crisis, there is something you can do to make a difference. And your family's actions, along with your empathy, will shape the next generation of helpers and heroes.”
