HOW TO RAISE A GOOD SPORT
Youth sports can be great for kids. Beyond physical health, researchers say sports can improve social and emotional well-being and contribute to "life skills development." Sports give kids opportunities to cope with failure and success, work hard toward a goal, cooperate with others, learn fairness --- and get away from screens for a while. It can be tough for kids to control the strong emotions that come with competition, and excessively competitive parents who fail to provide a positive model for their children are no fun either. But with a little early coaching from you, your child can be prepared to show respect for teammates and coaches, grace in winning and losing, and an understanding of what success in sports really means.
--- Jenny Friedman, Executive Director
ACTION
Visit our website to find big-hearted family activity ideas, plus our Shop Kind store.
Start early. Play games together when your child is young. Talk about following the rules, how to handle the frustration of losing -- and show humility in winning, and the importance of patience and determination. Try some collaborative games to build both skills and teamwork.
Make sure you're solid, too. Be a good sports parent by treating coaches with respect, modeling positivity, and not comparing players. Take the Sports Parents Pledge and talk to your children about your commitment.
Lift up sports heroes who model caring and integrity. Point out acts of kindness you see in sports-- and be vocal about your admiration. We love this video of tennis stars Naomi Osaka and Coco Gauff.
Help your kids keep their cool. As in many areas of life, learning to regulate emotions is key. Teach your children strategies for dealing with the intense emotions that arise in sports, especially if making a mistake or losing a game is particularly upsetting for them. Together come up with a plan to stay calm and refocus, such as mindful breathing or counting.
Rethink what success looks like. Talk less about the win-loss record and more about commitment to team, hard work, respect for teammates and opponents, and playing fair. Encourage the joy of sports by emphasizing having fun, making friends, and improving skills.
CONVERSATION
Make positive, sincere comments post-game, such as: "You really focused on the ball.""I love watching you play.""Your team was really hustling out there."
Talk about how to treat opponents. Ask: "How would you like to be treated by the other team when you win a game? Lose a game?"
Talk about what it means to be a good teammate. It might look like: offering encouragement, sharing enthusiasm, not placing blame for mistakes.
Ask questions that put the focus on sportsmanship: "What examples of sportsmanship did you see at the game today?" "Did you congratulate the other team when they won?""How has your team shown sportsmanship during the season?" "What examples of kindness have you noticed from your opponents?"
Talk to your child about what it means to be a respectful winner (no bragging or gloating) and a gracious loser (take responsibility for your mistakes, put the loss in perspective). And encourage your child to always thank the coach for their efforts.
BOOKS
Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns about Sportsmanship by Howard Binkow. Ages 4-8.This fun story shows kids that there's more to sports than winning -- like enjoying the game and being a team player.
Winners Never Quit by Mia Hamm. Ages 5-9. Based on her own childhood experiences, Hamm helps children understand the importance of teamwork and having a positive attitude. Though the focus is sports, the lessons are universal.
Lucia Lacorte, Poor Sport by Christianne Jones. Ages 4-8. It's no fun playing games with someone who is a poor sport, yet that describes Lucia whether she loses or wins. No one can help her see how her behavior is affecting others until she's suddenly on the receiving end.
INSPIRATION
"After I hit a homerun I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases."
~ Mickey Mantle, pro baseball player