THE JOY – AND CHALLENGE – OF GIFT-GIVING
Giving gifts can be a joyful thing. It gets us to think deeply about loved ones and consider their interests, personalities, and needs. We get to imagine what others might enjoy receiving. For kids, giving gifts is important for teaching generosity and empathy. But how do you offer children the undeniable pleasure of giving without encouraging consumerism? What gifts can you, in turn, give them that model these values? We offer some guidance for striking a gift-giving balance.
--- Jenny Friedman, Executive Director
ACTION
These ideas can make gift-giving more meaningful for your family. Some may also help reduce holiday stress and budget strain.
Give mindfully. Choosing gifts is an ideal opportunity for children to practice empathy. Have them put themselves in another's shoes, reflecting on the receiver's passions or a problem you might solve for them. (What's your sister's favorite book or movie character? What's hard for Grandma that our gift might help her with? What does Grandpa like to do for fun?)
Give kindness. What could be better than a gift that's fun and also spreads compassion? Check out the selection of service project kits, cooperative games, big-hearted books, and more at our DGT Shop Kind store.
Give a lesson in charity. When your family gives charity gift cards, you supply the funds and the person on your gift list chooses the charitable recipient. It's a great gift for kids because they learn to determine their charitable interests and evaluate charities.
Give experiences. Research shows that people prefer experience gifts. Your family could consider giving painting or cooking lessons; one or two pilates classes or a massage; or a trip with you to a zoo, museum, bowling alley, skating rink, or indoor playground.
Give handmade gifts. Be assured that handmade gifts don't require artistic talent or oodles of time. Kids can make coupons to help with chores or babysitting. Write a heartfelt letter. Bake a favorite dessert. Frame a personalized word cloud, decorate a cloth shopping bag or potholders with fabric markers, or create watercolor bookmarks.
Give back. We've collected super-simple ways to bring giving and service into your holiday traditions. If your budget allows, sponsoring a family or child for gift giving can be especially meaningful.
Give presence. Consider gifts of time and attention, especially during the hectic holidays. Small moments of kindness are what make people feel most loved and bond us more closely to one another. Have every family member create a "kindness list" alongside their wish list, outlining what they'll be doing for others during the holidays. This might include things like: inviting friends over to bake holiday cookies, leaving surprise notes in a friend's locker, reading with a younger sibling (or pet), doing extra chores around the house, or making a funny video to send to grandma and grandpa.
Give outside the toy box. Give your child memory-making gifts instead of toys, such as: a coupon offering a kindness date; a monthly subscription box; a box of creativity; a framed photo of you and your child; or a calendar you've marked with special dates for celebrations and outings
CONVERSATION
These questions can get the gift-giving conversation going in time for the winter holidays.
What's nice about gift-giving? What's hard about it?
Would you like giving a gift to someone who doesn't give you a gift in return? Why or why not? Should gift-giving always be reciprocal?
What gifts you've received have been your favorites? What made them so special?
What's the best gift you ever gave someone?
How would you feel if someone told you they didn't like a gift you gave them? How should you react if someone gives you a gift you don't especially like?
How can we make our gifts to friends and family special this year?
BOOKS
The Gift of Nothing by Patrick McDonnell. Ages 4 to 8. What do you get for a friend who has everything? Nothing, of course! This light-hearted tale tells of one dog's quest to find just the right nothing to give his special friend.
The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brumbeau. Ages 4 to 8. A talented seamstress makes beautiful quilts for people who are poor and homeless. When the king decides he must have one, she tells him he first must give away everything. In the process of shedding his possessions, the king finds true happiness. A beautifully illustrated story with a mesmerizing, fairytale quality.
A Hanukkah with Mazel by Joel Edward Stein. Ages 3 to 8. Misha, a lonely artist, befriends a cat, Mazel. Though they have very little, Misha works to make Hanukkah special for his new friend. Young readers will see the magic that flows from simple gifts and a little creativity.
The Gift Inside the Box by Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant. Ages 4-8. Empathy expert Adam Grant has teamed up with his wife Allison Sweet Grant to bring us this engaging and heart-warming story featuring a mysterious gift in search of someone to open him. Intentionally designed to ignite conversations about greed, selfishness, and giving, this modern day fable is remarkably fun and engaging too.
INSPIRATION
"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed."
--- Maya Angelou, poet and activist
"It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."
--- Mother Theresa