Gratitude in Transitions
We are squarely in the season of gratitude, a time when it is especially important for families to reflect on how and why they are grateful. Research shows us that people who intentionally take time to reflect on their feelings of gratitude are actually happier and experience less depression. Additionally, and even more importantly, gratitude instills kindness, compassion, and a caring heart, in our little ones.
We also know from developmental psychology that children are more likely to do something when we, as adults, model that behavior for them. It is important for us as parents to model gratitude for our children so they can experience the benefits and learn those skills that we parents hold dear.
I recently succeeded Jenny Friedman, the beloved founder of Doing Good Together,™ as the new Executive Director. As I thought about this first newsletter, in the season of gratitude, I wanted to take the time to extend my personal gratitude for Jenny during this transition.
As the founder, Jenny has paved the way for families and organizations to access resources and tools that inspire reflective family activities and create a ripple effect of kindness that radiates out into the community. I am so grateful to be the new caretaker of her vision. I hope that I can continue to help families create intentionality around these practices
– MiaLisa Millares, Executive Director
ACTION
Here are some ideas for emphasizing gratitude this holiday season.
Give Back as a Family. Find time as a family to come together to volunteer by fundraising in a 5k, packing lunches for the homeless, or donating used toys for those in need. In doing so, you are not only getting some family time together, but you are also giving back in a meaningful way and teaching your children the importance of spending time to help the common good.
Create a Giving Jar: Use this month of giving as an opportunity to talk about family philanthropy. Talk to your children about the importance of giving not only time and talents but also treasure. Create and fill a jar with coins each day this month. Decide together, as a family, where to donate the money you collect.
Give thoughtfully. Gift-giving is an opportunity for parents to help children put energy and time into creating or finding a gift for someone else. Ask questions like: What does the person enjoy? How might I offer my help or time? What would be meaningful for them? By having children think through their gift-giving, you are teaching empathy, kindness, love, and focusing on gratitude. Help children to think outside the box. Giving our time or something homemade can be even more impactful than a store-bought gift.
Add a Gratitude Meditation to Meal Times. All month long, take time to sit together for a family meal–it might be breakfast–or it might be dinner–whatever works for your family. Make time to take a few quiet, contemplative breaths together. During the meal, have each person share three experiences, or things they are grateful for one at a time. This practice is easy to add to mealtimes and allows everyone to calm down from the busyness of the day and refocus on being together through gratitude.
Reflect on Your Abundance. This month, take time each day to reflect on your abundance by counting items in your home. Pair this exercise with adding coins to a jar for each item you count. Follow the prompts and reflection questions laid out in this calendar to guide your month of counting and family discussion around abundance and gratitude.
Sticky Note Fun. Each day write one word or draw one picture on a Post-It® note of something you are grateful for, and place it on a wall or mirror at home. At the end of the month, reflect on all the wonderful and good things in your life.
DO THIS:
Retroactive Thank-you Notes. As parents, we encourage our children to write thank-you notes for gifts they receive, but this November, take it a step further. Look around your house for something you received or think of someone who has helped you. Write a thank-you note letting them know that you were thinking of them. Tell them why they are important to you.
DO THIS:
Reach out to Community Helpers. Write thank-you notes to teachers, doctors, nurses, and delivery workers who have been so helpful in the midst of the pandemic.
Cupcakes. Baking is such a simple activity, but with kids, it is also time to be together and reflect. Make some cupcakes or cookies together. Ask your kids to think about what they are grateful for and write one word on each cookie or cupcake representing their gratitude. Give your gratitude cupcakes to a neighbor or friend to keep the kindness flowing.
CONVERSATIONS
These are questions that can get the gratitude conversations going.
Think of a time when you felt content. Why was your heart happy? Reflect together on what makes people feel content.
Who are you grateful for in your life? Why?
How do you feel about homemade gifts? The gift of time? The gift of experiences? Which is the most meaningful to you? Why?
Have you ever received something you love that makes you think of the person who gave it to you? Tell me the story about receiving that gift. Tell me about the person.
What is something in your life, for which you are grateful, that you take for granted?
How does it feel to offer someone thanks?
READ
Reading is a natural and easy way to not only instill a love of literature in your child’s life, but more importantly, to create moments to discuss themes and topics that are infused with parenting wisdom. Diving into books with our kids creates kids that are kinder and smarter, and more empathetic. Our curated lists of picture books about gratitude and mindfulness allow for an opportunity for kids to listen, interpret, discuss and expand their comprehension through meaningful reflective family conversations. We have extensive collections of books on different topics. Check back often for new titles that were added to the list.
INSPIRATION
“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
― Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist