Inviting Kindness and Joy to Dinner
If you want to kick off your kindness-building practice this fall, start at the dinner table. Connecting over a nightly meal is great for the brain, the body, and the spirit, whether it’s leftovers or a new dish you created with your little chef. Take turns sharing how the day went, discussing challenges or issues that arose, celebrating small victories, and making plans for the next day. By creating a routine of family meals while your kids are young, and by modeling listening and prompting self-reflection, you’ll prepare a space for big, supportive, curious conversations as they grow.
– Jenny Friedman, Executive Director
ACTION
Set the table. Pick up a cute tablecloth at a thrift store, light a candle, and invite your child to add a creative centerpiece (anything from their latest Lego creation to a natural treasure they discovered in the yard).
Put video screens in a time out. If you establish (and follow) this rule while kids are young, it’ll be much easier to keep screens away from teens during family dinner later on! Decorate a box as your “drop station” where electronic devices can rest during mealtime.
Prepare some conversation starters. Try this printable list of questions from Doing Good Together. To make chatting even more fun, try one of these ideas: make a conversation jar, use our Kindness Placemats, take turns interviewing one another, have everyone share a joke, or talk about a book you’ve all read or a movie everyone has seen.
Set the tone of positive connections. Choose your battles carefully during dinner! Opt for connection over insisting on that last (or first) bite of broccoli. If you create an engaging space to spend moments together as a family, your child will likely be able to sit at the table longer.
Change it up. Have an indoor picnic, play a board game while you eat, offer a taste testing sampler dinner, choose a theme (everyone wears pajamas!), or create an all-appetizer meal served around the coffee table.
Be flexible. Can’t meet over dinner? Bond over breakfast instead. Weekdays difficult to schedule? Consider making weekend meals your Family Time or designate one or more weekdays as your Dinner Dates. (Adding it to your Family Calendar helps you keep this a priority.)
Keep trying! It may take time to settle into a tradition of family dinner that works for your brood. And some days mealtime may be more challenging than others. But don’t give up! It’s worth the effort.
TALK
Discover compassion-building talking tips on Doing Good Together’s collection of tools to start kind conversations.
READ
For much more on making the most of your family meals, read Eat, Laugh, Talk: The Family Dinner Playbook by Bri DeRosa, and check out the awesome Family Dinner Project website.
Then consider these great children’s books about food, family, friends…and kindness:
The Ugly Vegetables by Grace Lin. A Chinese-American girl is unhappy with her mother’s garden, filled with ugly vegetables rather than the beautiful flowers their neighbors are growing. That changes when she (and her neighbors) taste the delicious soup her mother makes from those ugly vegetables.
Maddie’s Fridge* by Lois Brandt. This book is both a joyful story of friendship and an emotional tale of hidden need. Children will be inspired to learn more – and do more – about local issues of hunger after hearing Sofia’s desire to help her friend. (Take it further with DGT’s book-based Hunger Curriculum which features this book and more!)
* This book & author will be featured at our virtual Festival of Giving this fall! Registration is free.
Thank You, Omu by Oge Mora. This story is a bit like Stone Soup in reverse. Omu (pronounced Ah-moo) creates a stew so tasty, her neighbors can’t help but ask for a bowl. Her gracious giving leaves Omu with an empty pot at dinner time. But don’t worry, her generosity hasn’t gone unnoticed! This beautiful story is full of opportunities to talk about giving, gratitude, and how we can show appreciation for those around us.
Lailah’s Lunchbox: A Ramadan Story by Reem Faruqi. Lailah is finally old enough to fast for Ramadan. But as a new girl in a new country, she worries about how her classmates will react.
INSPIRATION
The family meal is the nursery of our democracy.
—Michael Pollan, American author and journalist